RULES THAT GUYS WISH GIRLS KNEW

 1. If you think you might be fat, you are.
 Don't ask us. Just get your fat rear in a gym.

 2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up
 put it down.

 3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

 4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are
 not quests to see if he can find the perfect
 present, again!

 5. If you ask a question you don't want an
 answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live
 with it.

 7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless
 you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel
 lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

 8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different,
 it's just like every other cat.
 

 9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

 10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or
 the changing of the tides.  Let it be.

 11. Shopping is not sport.

 12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

 13. You have enough clothes.

 14. You have too many shoes.

 15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must,
 but don't expect us to like it.

 16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend
 is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

 17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't
 work.

 18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will.
 Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

 19. Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult
 than peeing from point blank range.  We're bound
 to miss sometimes.

 20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what
 makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair,
 out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

 21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

 22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a
 problem. See a doctor.

 23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

 24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

 25. Check your oil.

 26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

 27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective
 than deceived.

 28. It is neither in your best interest nor
 ours to take the quiz together.

 29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in
 an argument.  All comments become null and void after 7 days.

 30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
 expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and
 one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant
 the other one.

 32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other
 women, how can we know how pretty you are?

 33. You can either ask us to do something OR
 tell us how you want it done - not both.

 34. Whenever possible, please say whatever you
 have to say during commercials.

 35. Christopher Columbus didn't need
 directions, and neither do we.

 36. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses
 lose their right to complain about having their
 boobs stared at.

 37. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you.  We
 need it, just like you do.

 38. Telling us that the models in the men's
 magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous
 and petty and it's certainly not going to
 deter us from reading the magazines.

 39. The relationship is never going to be like
 it was the first two months we were going out.

 40. Anyone can buy condoms.

 AND FINALLY,

 41. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the
 genie to come out.